(Photo taken by my husband from the helicopter)

Our whole marriage retreat was a much needed, rest and relaxation, just slow down and enjoy each other's company, time.

We hung out with other married couples and laughed a lot! In Seaside, we fed the harbor seals that reside in the aquarium. What fun! Watch out for the splashers! They do tricks for a treat and splashing is their favorite way to get your attention! My friend got soaked all down her back and up the back of her head! In spite of the dampness, we had a fabulous time!

The weather at the coast was beautiful! Clear skies, NO RAIN AT ALL, and very light winds. It was perfect Pacific Coast weather in February. It was a bit chilly but not overly frigid.

Of course we ate seafood! We enjoyed battered cod and chips, salmon, and clam chowder for my hubby. Salt air makes me hungrier so we ate a lot!

I love the slower pace at the coast. It is as if the whole town hums in cadence with the motion of the waves. Leisurely, unhurried and peaceful. Down at the beach they close up shop at 5 pm!

We learned so many good things at the retreat sessions. I am still digesting the messages! I think I might share some of the more pertinent points in some future posts.

It was so nice to just be able to enjoy the beauty around us as a couple. To walk on the beach at 10pm and see the brilliant stars sparkling against the ebony sky. Mr. Querido and I realized that we love to enjoy God's creation and we haven't done that as a couple in a very long time.

The main thing that we took away from this whole experience was to make our marriage a higher priority. We realized that we had let our relationship slide as we struggled to survive in those early years. But we are no longer in survival-mode so now we can focus on thriving!

We Did It!

We left our beloved children with trusted friends and sneaked away to here...


Well, we didn't actually sneak it was planned and it was part of our church's marriage retreat. Three awesome days being infused with great teaching, lots of fun and gorgeous weather! We had so much fun reconnecting as a couple and we are taking what we learned there back home with us.

Tomorrow, if Blogger is uploading photos more rapidly, I'll share snippets of our helicopter ride!

It's good to be home :)

You've Got Mail!

He wrote!

My father wrote me back!

I am still in shock.

When I wrote him the letter I didn't really expect a response. But a certain part of me did expect a response. I hoped for a response. And then time passed and I figured he either didn't care or wasn't ready to respond.

But this morning I opened up my email and there was an email with the subject titled "Reconciliation."

In his email he said that he had read and re-read my letter many times. He said that he is determined to reconcile with me and my sister.

I feel like a completely different person, other than the father I knew, wrote me back. He didn't even sound the same. I detected humility in his words. Something I have never seen or experienced in my father before. He sounded truly repentant. Another first for him.

I think my father rediscovered Jesus while we were estranged. I can't wait to see if I am right!

Please pray for wisdom, strength, grace and love. For both of us.

Random Shots of My Life :)

Mr. Dramatic captured the very essence of his little sister in this photo!

Just having fun...

Wonder

Very wet

The artists at work

My boys somehow always end up with their mouths open when I take their picture!

Again, Mr. Dramatic has a great eye for shots that evoke emotion...

Delight and adoration

Best friends

Carpet buddies

Doesn't she look like her older brother?

Oh wait she looks like Mr. Independent too!

Brotherly love

Curiosity Times Three

Family full of joy!

School time!

Imitation

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

That is the sound of my stress melting away.

That is me exhaling as I think about my weekend getaway.

That is the sound of renewal beginning.

That is the sound I am going to make as my head hits the pillow and I fall asleep listening to the waves crash against the shore.

Oh wait, I would be making this sound then : zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Only a few more days to go!

Less Than A Week!

The countdown has been going for over a month and finally we are on the home stretch! Mr. Querido and I are going to attend a marriage conference at the beach in less than a week! Two nights and three days ---KID FREE! We haven't done that since before Mr. Dramatic was born (almost seven years ago). So as much as I love my kiddos, I am so looking forward to getting some couple time with just my hubby. I don't have to share him for three whole days :)

Also, because it is a marriage retreat, we are believing that we are going to come back with some great tools to make our marriage even better!

Just the thought of listening to the soothing rhythm of the ocean makes me breathe deeper. Ahhhhhhh......

Stay At Home Burnout

Currently, I am suffering from SAH Burnout. Symptoms include but are not limited to: An inexplicable desire to run screaming from your house any time someone says "Mom!", daydreams of living in a soft white room with padded walls, visible twitching at the sight (and smell) of another pile of clothes to launder, an irrepressible urge to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head...all.. day.... long, breaking out in hives if you have to sweep up one more pile of crumbs left on the floor after breakfast, and a rash developing at the thought of having to vacuum up crushed Cheerios in your carpet for the umpteenth time.

SAH Burnout patients should be medicated with plenty of chocolate, put on bedrest for at least three days (more may be needed depending on the severity of the symptoms), given a maid service for at least a month, sent to Starbucks for some Chai Tea, and quarantined from all forms of laundry for three months.

I wish...

Designed By Mr. Dramatic

Do you think my son, Mr. Dramatic, could be a designer in the making?

This is how he made my bed...with no help, or input, from me. He did it while I was taking a shower. Wasn't that sweet?

I actually never considered arranging the pillows that way. I'm more of a "don't think outside of the box" type...so this arrangement never occured to me. But I kind of like it!

Now I just need to get my new bedding sewn! Oh yes, I found fabulous fabric that I will reveal once I am finished.
And to my hubby's everlasting relief, it's not leopard print!

You're A Man...

My husband was fake crying in a high-pitched falsetto voice and Mr. Dramatic said:

"Dad stop it! You're a man!"

Trying Days...

Today is just one of those days.

I woke up this morning and felt pretty cruddy. After I got my hubby off to work, I crawled back in bed and proceeded to fall asleep for another four hours.

My sons come running to tell me the TV isn't working. I inspect it and realize that someone has cut the DVD cords and then tried to tape them back together. When confronted with the evidence, my son lied to me about who had done it. Didn't he learn his lesson last time? Apparently not.

Then my other son spends a l-o-o-n-g time in the bathroom doing his business. Flushes the toilet and proceeds to flood my bathroom floor. I shut the door and I am trying not to think about it.

My husband is due home in about a half hour and I still haven't gotten any schooling done for today with the kids.

The only bright spot to this otherwise dreary Monday is that my daughter went down for a nap without needing to nurse! I plugged the pacifier in and lay with her and she drifted off peacefully.

Did I mention I am extremely drained of all energy today?

Why don't mothers get sick days? Why is it that when you feel your worst your kids start acting up? It is like they have illness radar!

Sigh. Today is a trying day because I am trying to not be upset with the darlings, trying not to think about my flooded bathroom floor, trying not to count the minutes down until I have respite, trying to remember why I signed up for this career-choice and trying to not feel guilty about all of the above.

Powerful Words

God brings people into your life, just when you need them the most. He gives people words to say when you need to really hear them.

Upon hearing my feelings about my father voiced, my stepdad--Mr. Sparks--told my mom: "His loss is my gain."

Five words. Ordinary words. But they so touched me. His words of affirmation and worth blessed me. Five understated words transferred value onto me.

Yes, my biological father may have abdicated his position in my life. But God brought another father-figure to fill that void. One who is willing to cherish me. Which is what I have always wanted.

My stepdad is soft-spoken and a man of few words. But when he speaks, he speaks with purpose and sincerity. What he said, he meant. It wasn't for show, or pity. His Christ-like compassion obliterated my feelings of neglect and abandonment. My father may never choose to become a part of my life. In contrast, here is a man who has no ties to me except for marrying my mother and he chooses to be involved with and care about me.

I am so grateful for him becoming my family!
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I challenge you to see in what ways your words can be used for blessing someone else. Let's speak life into each other's lives!

Proverbs 18:21
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit."

Proverbs 25:11
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."

Don't forget to adorn those around you with your speech! Make those around you feel beautiful and treasured with your words.

The Void

It has been a month since I sent off my letter to my father. And still my email and mail boxes stand empty.

While chatting with my sister tonight I asked her if she had received any correspondence from him. She said no. And she had sent off a letter over a month ago too. Her last words were: "So he's disappeared again." Just matter of fact. Which is sad but true.

Our father may have been present physically, but emotionally, he disappeared long ago. It was like trying to love a ghost. And you can only work so hard and put so much of yourself out there before you break. I reached my breaking point three years ago. Since then, while my heart mended ever so slowly, I have only heard from him once. And that was in the first year of our estrangement. He sent my sister and me Christmas cards with the words: 'I love you and I am still your father.' As I read those words, they infuriated me. How dare he presume that he could hold that title over my head? What love? Love would have sacrificed himself and spent hours searching the internet trying to locate me. Just as I have spent hours trying to find him. Love would have never let go of his daughter in the first place. Love would have never given up. Love would have kept trying to woo his daughter's heart back. Love would have cared enough to be involved.

And so I sit here on Valentine's Day Eve thinking back to the last Valentine's I spent with him. Instead of writing a Valentine's Day missive, I was helping him with his resume. Questioning him on his career habits. Questioning him on his life habits. And as I heard the response he so transparently gave, I sat in stunned disbelief as I listened to the death knell of my family.

Divorce rips your family apart. Even as a 25-year old adult this divorce shredded my heart. I felt like my whole life growing up had been one big fat lie. I remember that I used to feel so secure in the fact that my parents still held hands even after 20+ years of marriage. I vividly recall wanting my own marriage to be that way. To find out it was all a farce, made me feel so lost.

It made me question if I could really have a marriage that thrived. Rather than one that lay gasping for its last breath in the space between us. Then my beloved husband reminded me that he was not like my father. We would be different. We would make it. We would be committed to being committed. We would love fiercely and not ever let go of each other.

I wish my father could have been the same as my husband. I wish he could have loved me fiercely and never let go. My parents' marriage may have ended, but did my father-daughter relationship have to end with it?

I feel like he has moved on and swept me under the rug. Forgotten.

And so I sit here on Valentine's Day Eve with a void in my life. I opened up my heart expectantly but now all I hear is the whooshing sound of hope being extinguished.

Confusion in the Bedroom

So that title caught your eye!

Just this evening I was conversing with my husband about how important a catchy title was. He is writing a paper for school and is having difficulties deciding on what title to use. I told him that he needed to have a title that would pique the interest of the reader. Something that would give them a taste and leave them wanting more.

Anyway....

No, the confusion is about the bedroom, not in the bedroom! Although, because we were in the bedroom, I thought the title befitted the situation...lol :)

Okay, back on track here. So when you ask your mate (for the majority of my readers..all five of you...the gender of said mate is male and will be referred to as husband from now on), your husband, what colors he likes, do you get a blank stare in reply? If you ask him what he thinks about the stripes you just painted today, does he shrug and tell you "whatever you want to do"? Do you, after receiving little to no information on his likes and dislikes, feel extremely frustrated and not quite sure of yourself and your design as you did before?

Join the party!

I love my husband. He is my strength, my protector, my lover, my friend, my tickle-mate, my equilibrium, my safe spot, my risk-taker, my adventurer, my creative complement, my man of few words, my dependable, always available, handsome, sexy, full of integrity, masculine yet tender, powerful man. But his highly creative mind does not tread the domain of home decor. Alas, he can visualize a great pallet-board system to keep our firewood off of the ground, but he cannot visualize the DIY platform bed I want him to make for us. It's a good thing I can draw!

So I am left to my own devices...and HGTV. (Did you know that you can watch full episodes of Colorsplash, Myles of Style, etc? So for folk like me who cannot afford cable *sniff* and who still crave a shot of decorating inspiration, you can have your cake and eat it too!)

But, bless him, he knows that he doesn't know enough in this area and so he leaves it to me. I just hope he likes the end result!

Yikes Stripes!

Before...

After...

I am really liking the geometric element the stripe adds to the space. No, it's not level...which is a fact that is driving me crazy, but it was a temporary test area. And just remember that the final wall color is not going to be green! Also, if I choose to do stripes in the room, I will be certain that they are straight, non-feathery and LEVEL.

Arrggghhh!!!

Well, I wanted to upload some photos of the "in-process" painting...BUT Blogger isn't uploading photos! So stay tuned...

Multitasking?

I am so talented.

I can amuse my youngest even when I am sick!

As I was trying to get her to nap today (I gave up eventually), I started to sneeze. And sneeze. And, well you get the idea.

With each progressive sneeze she started to giggle. Because I am that funny. And then it just turned into full on belly laughter (for her, not me, by that time I was too busy blowing my nose).

Can this count as multitasking? Because I would like to feel like I got something done today.

*Achoo*

DIY:: Bring It Into the 21st Century!

What do you do when you have wood trim that screams 1970's? Oh and did I mention you don't have any extra money to splurge on nice updated trim?


You remember that you have some KILZ primer in your garage and you proceed to prime your window frame. For zero dollars and about a half hour of time invested, you can have a totally updated look!
(Yes, the right side needs more primer...I have about a coat to go on that one but I couldn't resist taking the photo halfway through!) No, I'm not going to leave it primer white. I plan on eventually getting a nice glossy crisp white to finish it off, but for now "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful". And yes, I do see the brush strokes on the wall surrounding the window. I am painting the walls a different color so I'm not worried about those.

All in all, I am very proud of my thirty minute makeover for my window. Usually I wait until all is perfect and I have everything I need. But waiting for perfection means I might wait forever. So I decided to do it now and worry about fine-tuning it later on.

And Remodeling Guy, you're right paint does count as remodeling! :)

A Giveaway Just In Time For Valentine's Day!

First off, are you still doing the Challenge?
I am and I have found that it has challenged me to think more about that area of my life. I am more aware of how my love life affects the rest of my life. And, I have a happier more contented husband :)

While over at Diaper Diaries perusing this week's challenge (which by the way is going to be the hardest one yet...lol!) I came across a comment talking about a giveaway on another blog.

Leah at Ponderings of My Heart is giving away two copies of Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus! I first heard about this book on Family Life Today and they absolutely raved over it. It promises to renew your thinking and mindsets about sexual intimacy between husband and wife. In today's society we are so bombarded by ungodly thoughts about sex and love, I think it would be awesome to redefine it by God's thoughts on the subject!

So go over to Leah's blog and leave a comment to be entered. The giveaway ends February 13th..so hurry!

PhoTOTgraphy

As I was uploading photos, I found these...
And I will mention that I was not the photographer.







Can you guess who was?

Money Management Or Lack Thereof

WHAT?!?!?!?!

How is that the government can just throw money hither and yon? And I am expected to pay for their indulgences?

It's great for first-time homebuyers, but what about those who aren't sitting around with their hands out begging the government for money? What about those hard-working American families who pay their mortgage on time, don't have bills in arrears, are frugal and wise with their money, and CAN FOLLOW a budget? Do we get a "You've Been So Good With Your Money We Think You Should Be Rewarded" tax break? Nope.

Sigh. I am so glad that God's economy is not subject to our economy. And that He rewards those who are faithful stewards! But it is soooo annoying to me that banks that have been foolish are given a bailout, companies that should go under are given a life preserver worth millions of dollars and now first time homebuyers are given a credit that I am going to have to end up paying for eventually. I wish we could elect officials that know how to manage money wisely.

Okay, I am done venting.

Craving Contrast....

With regard to my bedroom, I discovered that what is missing is the WOW factor. I love contrast with color and I have it in every room except mine! The green on the walls is a nice shade but it doesn't have the oomph to it that I crave.

I was discussing this with my hubby last night. I asked him what he liked to see in a bedroom, what was restful and conducive to relaxation. He said as long as it was clean he didn't care. He has given me carte blanche with the style of the room!

So, I think I am going with darker more soothing tones. Deep purple and teal for accent colors on accessories. Purple can be masculine and not to feminine if it has more of the indigo undertones. Besides that, royalty wore purple! Then I will put a nice sleek charcoal gray on the walls. I am going to add contrast by painting our dingy, dark wood trim white. Which will go a long way to update the 1970's look in it right now.

There needs to be some architectural element to this "boxy" room but I am not sure how that will play out yet.

As for lighting, we are in desperate need of some small table lamps, or wall lamps. It would be so great to be able to turn out the light without having to get out of bed. And I am bound and determined to find a replacement for the boob light!

When looking at the picture I took of the window, I realized that we needed more privacy. However, I love the sunlight streaming through the glass. I thought about it and came up with contact paper :) My mom did this on their front door which has nine lites in it. It looked directly over into their neighbors front porch and so their neighbors could see everything going on inside my parents house. My mom hates to live in a fishbowl setting so she came up with contact paper. Apparently you can get it in really cool geometric patterns that allow it to be opaque enough for privacy but still let the light in. So with my mom for inspiration, I am going to see if I can find something similar for our bedroom window. (If you look really closely in the picture you can see that it just looks out into the street and isn't a very pretty view.)

Plus, the other thing I realized last night is that I was trying too hard for my room to evoke a certain theme rather than feeling. I was going for the "it feels like a decorator lives here" look rather than embrace the fact that I am not a decorator. I have my own peculiar style and so does my husband. We are unique and our room needs to reflect us, not some magazine cover.

I Really Miss...

My cable TV (with back to back episdoes of my favorite decorating shows on HGTV) on days when I get sick..like today. I really miss my housekeeper..oh wait, I am the housekeeper. I really miss my live-in nanny....oops again, that's me!

Sigh, all joking aside, I feel pretty icky today and I don't feel like attending to the needs of my three children, I just want to crawl in bed and sleep. For a LONG time.
But sleep is not in my job description I guess. Rats, it's always the fine print...

I Heart Faces...Adult Category

This photography blog is so fun to peruse! Go check out the other entries for I Heart Faces Adult Category.

For your viewing pleasure, I give you...me!



Yes, the quality is blurry but I had fun trying to get a decent shot of myself :) Plus, I am notorious for closing my eyes when getting my picture taken..so this was a rare thing to see...my EYES!

I Heart Faces...Especially My Daughter's :)

Check out iHeartFaces for more great photography!

WANTED: Inspiration for Bedroom

Many of my favorite blogs have made the bedroom their focus. After seeing those bedrooms and looking at mine, I offer mine up as a What Not To Have Bedroom Tour.


This is the entrance to the hallway (you are looking into the kids' room from our bedroom)




Here is a lovely shot of our sliding closet doors circa 1974. The one thing I absolutely love in my room is a photo of me and Mr. Querido. The "nightstand" on his side of the bed is a filing cabinet. And yes, there are files in there pertaining to finances. (I know, it is a BIG no-no to do that. Can I just say we were desperate for nightstands?)


Here is a full shot of our bed. The torchiere lamp doesn't even work...so why is it still in there?? I do like the ambience that the tealight candle wall sconce my sister gave me. But in looking at these photos I realize I need something to make it more proportionate to the size of the bed.

Here we have a shot of my side of the bed. In a desperate attempt to make the filing cabinet nightstand look decent, I place a glass hurricane thingy with some decorative rocks and a tea light. The black mark on the wall is the soot from said candle :( The weird thing hanging low on the wall are my necklaces which need a better home.

This is our high and long window which is quite naked. Below this window is baseboard heating which has a mind of its own. We don't want to burn down our house with drapes so we leave the window naked until we can come up with a better solution. I don't like the naked window and I DESPISE mini-blinds.

Over here as you turn right is my husband's dresser which makes the room feel lopsided.

And this is the crowning glory...what my husband affectionately dubbed "the boob light"! Notice the lovely popcorn ceiling which surrounds it. (Now you, like me, will never again be able to see one of these light fixtures without cracking up!)

So ends the tour of WHAT NOT TO HAVE in your bedroom.

And now if any of you creative ladies would like to offer advice, I will gladly accept! Oh did I mention that there is ZERO budget for decorating? That is also the problem, I have champagne tastes on a beer budget (metaphorically speaking of course!).

After looking at my room with a very critical eye, I have come to the conclusion that:
A) I really hate the color of the walls
B) Nothing is proportionate to the bed
C) The bed does not make a statement
D) I REALLY need curtains
E) I need some more photos of me and my hubby
F) I need some colorful artwork
G) I really need to ditch the boob light!
H) I need some new pillows, mine are in such sad shape
I) I want new bedding, I am sick of the chocolate
J) I need a bedroom with decor that can be changed up at whim with minimal effort and expense
K) I get bored with the same stuff too easily