Living Room Makeover...

Before:
Haphazardly thrown together furnishings. Ill-fitting to the space. An awkward, bare corner that housed the CD player/ radio. Let's not forget to notice the ugly air conditioning unit! Oh, and please excuse the clutter, I promise it disappears on the afters...lol!


The problems:
We need all the seating we can get. We have to keep the ugly loveseat with the beige slipcover (we do have two boys after all). The chaise lounge is so underused and sadly neglected in that lonely corner. Plus, in the wintertime, it would be too close to the woodstove for comfort. One major eyesore...the baseboard heating that we never use but still need to keep until we get an alternative installed (that will probably be in about 20 years...lol!). The baseboard heaters run the length of the window and the long wall that joins the living room with the kitchen.





The sofa just piled up against the hard-to-fill long wall that joins the living room with the kitchen/dining room...





Oh and the opposite wall of the fireplace is the TV cabinet. Which, I loved the photos, but the space was still awkward.


All it took was a little creativity and willingness to think about the furniture arrangement with a fresh perspective. A little bit of shifting the sofa, loveseat and chaise lounge. Bring the bookcase from the hallway to fill the awkward corner. Think about a different place to put the photos.


After: And voila! The solution:

A lovely window seat that invites you to sit and read awhile in the soft light streaming from the window.

A color-coordinated bookcase complements the chaise lounge. We managed to hide the very-necessary but very-unaesthetically-pleasing
air conditioning. And it was my husband's idea to place the candelabra on top of the bookcase to finish it off.

Now the long wall has a gallery feel to it...and it includes my favorite objets d' art...my kids! :)





We flipped the long sofa to parallel the window. And the well-loved loveseat (with oh-so-handy washable slipcover) backs up to the couch. When you are cooking in the kitchen someone can comfortably sit and chat with you!

However, my favorite part about this arrangement of the loveseat, is that I don't have to see it when I first come in the front door! It disappears behind the much nicer looking couch :)









Total cost: $0

We just rearranged and used what we had :) I love makeovers that don't cost anything...lol! And I LOVE my new living room. The kids do too. When Miss Precious woke up and I took her into the living room, she just stared and looked all around. When the boys woke up, they were so enthusiastic about the change. Everyone is happy, including my dear hubby who helped me with it all!

Before, our living room didn't reflect our personal style at ALL. Now, we have subtle sophistication while still being child-friendly. My boys still have room to run around and spread out their toy cars and blocks. Miss Precious has plenty of room to roam. And I have a lovely spot to lounge and read a good book. Our living room now works for us! :)

My God, He Meets Me Where I Am!

God truly meets you when you step out in faith!

My husband has been working for his current employer for eleven years. He has also been passed up for a promotion to supervisor twice. He is more than capable to excel in the position. He is an excellent leader and a hard worker. But still he gets passed over for someone with LESS experience and tenure. He has understandably been very frustrated by this.

So he and I have been praying about it. Meanwhile, the paychecks he has been getting have seemed to shrink. And our bills have seemed to be enlarging. Mr. Querido decided that he needed to get a part-time job to make ends meet. I was against it because I knew it would steal time away from our family, but I also didn't want to have to go back to work. I decided to submit to his God-given authority and let him make the decision. He started job hunting.

Thursday night, I was at women's Biblestudy and went up for prayer regarding the whole situation. The lovely lady who prayed with me boosted my faith when she prayed the exact same verse I had found a couple of days ago.

"Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men."
Proverbs 22:29

When she prayed that over the situation, I knew that God was listening to the cry of my heart. I didn't want my husband to have to strive so hard to provide for us. I wanted him to be able to take a break every weekend and enjoy the fruits of his labor. The way things were going, he wasn't going to be taking a break, he would be working himself to death just to get the bills paid.

After praying at the Biblestudy, I was certain that the breakthrough we needed was coming. God had confirmed that with His Word. I knew that it wasn't coincidence that lady had spoken the very verse I was believing on. HE was at work and He was gracious enough to bolster my faith by letting me know that He was moving everything into place.

Saturday, Mr. Querido and I were at membership class at church and during lunch we got a chance to chat with the pastors. The subject of employment came up and we casually mentioned the whole job situation. Pastor said that maybe Mr. Querido needed to hone his leadership skills. That perhaps they were looking for someone with better managerial skills that could get the other people to work well. Then it was onto a different subject. Class ended and we went home to get ready for Saturday night service. Mr. Querido and I chatted about what Pastor had said and we decided that Mr. Querido might need to work on his leadership skills.

Saturday night service was awesome! The presence of God was so tangible and I was so grateful that the answer to my prayers was on its way. The service ended and Pastor got up front and told us all that God still wanted to do some things. He started praying for people with needs. Whatever the need, God can meet it! As we had already received the confirmation from His Word, we didn't go up. Then out of nowhere, he told Mr. Querido and I to come up front.

"I could not stop thinking about your job situation Mr. Querido. You were on my heart all day long." Pastor said.

(God put our need on Pastor's heart all day long?)

"And I believe that God rewards faithfulness. You have been faithful in your job and He is going to reward it."

Pastor prayed over us, over the situation, over our marriage, and our children. It was done! I knew that the answer was on its way.

And so I write this, not having yet seen the benefit of the prayers, but certain that the answer is coming swiftly. I write this in a spirit of faith and trust in the One Who provides everything. And I write this in gratefulness and appreciation of a God Who expects me to step out in faith and trust, but Who loves me enough to put my situation on the heart of someone who can come alongside my faith and steady my gait.

With anticipation I write this post. Anticipation of the blessings that are going to come about from the Word being worked in our lives.

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."
Hebrews 10:23

He is faithful to meet every need, even my need for reassurance that He was listening and moving in my life. He is faithful.

The Sacrifice of Love

Have you ever truly stopped to think about the sacrifice that Jesus made when He decided to die on the Cross? I have been a Christian for 22 years, and I don't think until today I truly comprehended what He did.

In Matthew 27:26-53 you can see what He went through for our salvation from sin.

First, He was scourged. Scourging consisted of being beaten with a whip that had pieces of glass, bone or metal attached to the ends so that when the ends met flesh, they tore through down to the bone. He did this for our salvation from sickness and disease.. Then the soldiers and people mocked Him by placing a heavy robe over the back that was now sliced into ribbons of agony. Picture getting a sunburn and having a heavy coat resting on your tender skin. Now you can only imagine what pain He was in already. The cruelty and humiliation continues. They placed a crown of thorns on His head. A more apt description would be they jammed a crown of thorns (with thorns that were approximately two inches long!) into His head. More mockery (remember, He is the King of all kings and He deigned to endure the mockery for our salvation), then they spat on Him. Imagine how much spit hurts in a little papercut, picture that intensified a thousand times. Think about how disgusting and degrading it would be to be spit upon by people. To be hated so intensely. After that, the whole Roman soldier garrison beat Him on the head with a reed. A big, thick reed. These soldiers were used to torture, they had perfected the art of it. Picture being beat over the head (which is still being punctured with a crown of thick thorns) with a thick stick by trained burly, unfeeling men. After that, they tore the robe off of His back and put His other clothes back on Him. They brought Him to Golgotha (the Place of a Skull) and they gave Him sour wine to drink mixed with gall. He refused to drink it once He had tasted a little. The wine mixed with gall would have acted as a painkiller, dulling the pain a little. He refused it because He wanted to feel every bit of agony, for us.

The Scripture then just says four words..."then they crucified Him." Those four words cannot begin to detail what crucifixion consisted of. The soldiers didn't hoist the victim up to the cross and then nail them to it. No, they started with the cross on the ground, pounded the spikes (think railroad-tie nails) into the person's feet and wrists. Into places of the body where there would be enough bone to hold them up on the cross. Then the Roman soldiers would hoist the cross up and drop it into a hole that had been pre-dug. Imagine how much more flesh was ripped off His back as the rough bark from the cross scraped up against it. Stop and think a bit about how the rusty, blood-stained nails shredded the nerves and tendons in His feet and hands. Yet He endured, for us. I cannot even picture the agony that must have sent shockwaves through His tortured body. And then He hung there for hours. Unending pain.

Blood dripping into His eyes, nose and mouth. His arms tire from trying to hold Himself up to breathe. Laboring for each precious breath. The feet that had traveled all over healing the sick, now were nailed to a rough tree. The hands that had tenderly reached out to the lost and dying, now clenched in agony.

What was on His mind, those hours He spent hanging there? You were, and I was. He did it for us. Would you have given yourself over to be sentenced to death in this manner for those who would spurn your love and sacrifice? I surely would have not. But that is the beauty of grace. He did it even when we didn't deserve it.

" For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:16-17

The physical agony was nothing compared to the emotional agony he would endure as well. He was abandoned by God while He hung on the cross. God had to turn away from the sin that clung to His son as He paid the price of redemption for our souls. Imagine being with the person you love most, then imagine if they turned their back as you were put through horrible physical and mental anguish. They had the power to stop all of that with one word, yet they said nothing. Did nothing.
Jesus too, could have stopped all of His suffering with one word. Yet He endured for your sake and for mine.

And then He gave up His spirit and died.

Are tears running down your face as they are mine? I cannot comprehend why He did this all for me! How many times do I disappoint Him, how many times do I refuse to listen to His voice? How many times will I miss the mark? And yet, knowing all of this, He still went to the cross for me. For my sin. For my shame. For my shortcomings. For my pain.

But there is more, it doesn't end here! He was resurrected and lives!

My Savior and Redeemer is alive and He loves me! And He loves you! He died and rose again so that we could be free from the penalty that our sins demanded.

"That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."
Romans 10:9-10

It's that simple. He went through all of that, and all we have to do is believe and confess and it's done.

Thank You Jesus, for the sacrifice that You made for me. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You. I believe that Your death and resurrection is the only way I can be saved. And Your Name is the only name that I can be redeemed by. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me from everything I have done that has not glorified You. I want to live my life for You. I confess You as my Savior, my Lord and my Master. Take rule over my life, I give it to You. Thank You for making me a new person on the inside. Thank You for forgiving me of my sins. Thank You for Your grace that covers me. I love you Jesus.

Refreshed

I just wanted to add a big thank you to all of you who responded to my Friday post. I appreciate all the concern that you guys showed to me. Thank you for all of the prayers and kind comments. :)

It was nice to rest from the computer over the weekend, although I did blog on Sunday...lol. I have renewed vision for what I need to be doing as a wife, mother, writer and blogger. That is mostly what I was praying about. There were other things too, but that can wait for another post.

So, I hope that my renewed vision blesses you, inspires you and points you to Him, my true Source of Inspiration.

Called to Completion

This morning, I woke up at 5:48 am. For those of you who are unaware, this is not an everyday occurrence...lol...I am NOT a morning person. I laid in bed and tried to go back to sleep, but sleep eluded me. So I got up and decided to continue reading in my marriage biblestudy that I have been doing.

I was reading the part in Genesis about when God curses the man and woman for their disobedience to His Word. (Gen. 3:16-17)What specifically arrested my attention was the part "Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife," As I continued further into the study for that day, it went on to question was there anything that I was trying to control in our marriage. And of course, the blithe answer would be OF COURSE NOT! My man is in control...I don't manipulate.

Then God gently tapped me on the shoulder "Um, Mrs. Q, are you sure about that?"
Me: "Well of course I am. I am a good wife who allows her husband to lead in ALL areas (note my exaggeration of reality, I am trying to convince myself of my goodness)!"
God: "I think you should think that answer over again, Daughter."
Me: "(whining a little)But why?"
God: "Because you are tearing down your marriage word by word when you usurp the authority that I have given your husband."
Me: "(meekly)Oh."

God and I went on to have a much more involved conversation about what areas I was STILL attempting to control. Sigh. I have a lot of work to do.

Then I continued on in the biblestudy...
And I came to this part:
"Is your husband's God-ordained authority in the home an issue for you? Do you vie for control? In what areas? Finances? Parenting? Career? Color-coordinating his clothes? What does competition in your home look like? How is it impacting your relationship?" Judy Rossi-Enhancing Your Marriage

Uh..gulp..guilty. It seemed ridiculous at first, but I love being coordinated with my husband on Sunday mornings. He hates being coordinated. He thinks that it's stupid. I think that it's cute and a sign of true one-ship in a marriage. Probably because my parents always matched when going to church. I think I also viewed it as a way to identify myself with him. "I'm obviously with him and he is obviously with me." I have fought for control with him in this area our whole six years of marriage. No more, I am not going to attempt to match him any more. Upon further heart inspection, as I am writing this, I discovered the real root reason for wanting to match. I am afraid that he doesn't want to be a part of me or be associated with me. Like his defiance of wanting to be matchy-matchy is declaration of his independence. Which, is true, but it doesn't mean he wants to be independently independent from me! He wants to keep part of his identity rather than me determining it for him.

Which brings me to the next revelation...

"Whether or not we're in a dual income marriage, it's necessary to drive home a very important point here: the frightening reality is that God will hold every husband accountable for his God-ordained role in the home as a leader, provider and protector, even if he's not a believer. That role was established in his soul from the beginning. A wife's competition for her husband's role as head of the family will yield one of two reactions from him: either he'll withdraw and let her take over, or he'll fight back. If she deliberately and willfully cajoles, manipulates and nags in order to impose her will in an area of her husband's responsibility (which is not the same as offering wise counsel), she is in sin.If he allows her to take over his role, he is in sin." Judy Rossi-Enhancing Your Marriage

Did you get that? It hit me square between the eyes. I AM IN SIN if I attempt to control or manipulate my husband out of his GOD-ORDAINED place of authority. Wow. That was revelation to me. I never knew that! I have been sinning this whole time thinking that I was just helping him. And if he were to abdicate that authority to me, he would have been in sin. Thank God I have a husband who is willing to fight for what God rightfully gave him.

Judy Rossi said one sentence that really stopped me and got me thinking:
"Instead of being my husband's completer, I was his competer."

So I encourage you ladies to let God search your hearts and stretch your faith a little. Let Him show you areas that you are competing in against your husband. As for me, I am going to make sure that my husband is wearing whatever color he wants to, regardless of what I am wearing! I think that not being identical shows off the beauty of and uniqueness of both, don't you agree?

Just as my skin color differs from that of my husband, so do our personalities and God-given callings. We are equal in God's eyes, but that does not mean we are the same. We have the same value but different functions. Put together, we are beautiful and harmonious. Celebrate the harmony in your life!

**I know that I said I was taking a blogging break, but I just had to share what God had showed me. Plus, writing it down helped to cement it in my heart.**

Taking a Little Break

I have decided to take a blogging break over the weekend.





There are some things I need to seriously pray about and I need to focus all of myself on the Lord to do that!





So I hope all of you have a lovely weekend and I'll see you on Monday.

(And these are actual flowers from my yard...my husband has the green thumb, not me...lol!)

Becoming an On-Purpose Woman....and a GIVEAWAY!

Today I got an unexpected blessing and an answer to prayer! Do you ever feel like you know you should be doing something, but you cannot figure out your purpose? Well, I have felt like that for a long time. But I couldn't figure out how to start becoming who I wanted to be.

Then a couple of days ago, this lovely lady named Lylah Ledner came to my blog. She read my bio about strugggling to find my purpose and decided to send me a copy of her book "Becoming an On-Purpose Woman"!

And, she also wants to give away ten copies to the next 10 ladies who go to her site and mention the book as well as the fact that you came from my blog! So go over to her Lylah's blog and post that you want to become an On-Purpose Woman and that you came from Five In The Potter's Hand :)

You can check out the book here
And here are Lylah's words about the book:

Becoming an On-Purpose Woman is for the woman who is ready to be changed from the inside out. It’s
for the woman serious about her life. It’s for the teachable, the willing, the one who is tired of how she’s
living. It’s for the woman who wants more out of life. It’s for the woman who really wants to leave a good
legacy for her children's children. It’s for the woman who’s soul is desperate for God—to know Him, to
follow Him and to love Him. --Lylah Ledner, Life Coach Moms Ministries

I just started the book today, and I am so excited to see where this journey will take me!

Taming Toddlers With Grace....

If you are the mother of a toddler...read this article by InsertGraceHere...guaranteed to make you laugh so hard your face hurts!

And 'fess up...who all out there hasn't considered Benadryl on those very trying and very active days? I'll be the first to raise my hand!

But my kids are used to ingesting medicine even if they don't require it. They do it for fun and to give me gray hairs!

The Pepto Perpetrator

Today while getting ready to take my shower, I came across pink drips of some liquid on my floor. The drips were coming from my medicine cabinet. I opened it and found an EMPTY bottle of Pepto-Bismol! Most mothers would have freaked out and called 9-1-1 but I have experience with my children getting into things like Ipecac Syrup (that was a fun hour of vomit!) and Tylenol....yup, a whole half bottle of Childrens' Tylenol. I digress. After questioning both boys, I discovered the guilty one was Mr. Dramatic. Which quite surprised me because he was the one who had swallowed the Ipecac before. I thought after vomiting that much, it would have been seared into his memory. Apparently not. He seems to be fine.

Some people's kids...

WFMW- Keepin' Your Thighs from Catching Fire

Like most women, I am a little blessed in the inner thigh area. And I find that if I wear skirts without pantyhose (which I haven't worn since before Mr. Dramatic was born...over six years ago) my thighs rub together. It is extremely annoying to be walking along all smooth and then you practically trip because your thighs are glued together. Well, maybe none of you have had this problem, but it is one that has plagued me.

My solution?


As you apply deodorant to your underarms, rub some on the inside of your thighs! Works like magic! You can keep the friction level down and avoid inner thigh burns.

How did I stumble upon this fabulous tip you might ask? Quite by accident. I figured that I could at least keep my thighs from sweating so much from the friction and voila! Inner thigh lubricant!

For more ingenious tips, check out WFMW at Rocks in My Dryer

You Know Your Kids Are Easily Entertained...

When they can sit and watch the ants haul off crumbs from your kitchen floor...for hours. A neighbor of our's told my husband that we could get rid of the ants by leaving oatmeal for them to carry off. Apparently, they cannot digest it and it kills them. Really cheap RAID :) I really hope it works, because I am SICK of sharing my home with the little invaders. My sons are crouched on the floor MESEMRIZED by the little workers. They are even providing a running commentary!

Diapers: Evidence of God's Faithfulness

For those of you who wonder if God cares about the little things...

Last night my husband and I were counting out the spare change we had. This is all the money we have until the 23rd. Slowly and carefully I counted out the coins. Under ten dollars with some change. This would have to be sufficient for gas, milk and eggs and diapers for the next week. We looked at the coins on the table, how would this be enough?

We left it in God's hands and trusted Him to meet the needs we have.

And then later on today, my next door neighbor came over with a bag of things she was getting rid of. She pulled out clothing that will fit my boys. Some tablecloths that I can definitely use and then...diapers! A bag half full of diapers in the exact size Miss Precious wears!

So when you think that He doesn't notice the little needs, such as something for the baby to poop and pee in, just remember blessings can come in all shapes and sizes! Sometimes in just the size you need :)

Tackle it Tuesday...Pantry Perfection!

Once upon a time, this small corner of my kitchen was organized. I had all of my cooking supplies on one shelf, baking on another, cereal on the top and miscellaneous items below. Can't you see the brillance and permanence of my system?
It is my secret shame. I have a door that I can close to make sure that nothing falls out. Sometimes, I really have to put some effort into closing that door because all of the cooking supplies are pushing back!
In all fairness, if I were the ONLY one who got into this pantry, it would look a bit more organized. But I blame these two:

They love being able to pour their own cereal, slap together a PB & J sandwich or just munch on some graham crackers. They are independent. But they independently make my pantry a DISASTER!

So, I decided to inject some order into the chaos...

Top shelf: Baking supplies
(Shhhh...don't tell the kids but I am hiding yummy snacks in the white pot on the top shelf too!)


Second shelf: Cooking supplies


Third shelf: Chips, pasta and tostadas (Being married to a Mexican means you have to stock up on tostadas...lol!)


Fourth shelf plus the bottom of the pantry: Pots, pans and infrequently used small kitchen appliances! While organizing, I had an epiphany. Why do I place my I-use-them-everyday-pots-and-pans in a hard to access cabinent corner? I didn't have a good answer for myself except for "That's what everyone else does!" So I moved them to my easy-to-get-to pantry shelf! Hooray!

And finally....


For more organization inspiration, check out other tackles here

Oh, and did any of you highly observant ladies catch on to the theme of my kitchen? :)

Pieces Of My Life and My Heart...

MoRockin' Out

Ever since we got married, I have wanted Mr. Querido to have a music room. He plays bass guitar, and I wanted him to have a place for his guitars to be displayed and where he could store all the paraphenelia that goes with said guitars.

When we moved into our current home, I was a bit disappointed because we only had three bedrooms and we already had two boys and a girl on the way. It looked like Mr. Querido's music room was still a distant dream.

After we had Miss Precious, I realized that we weren't utilizing our space very well. We moved the boys into the much bigger master bedroom. Mr. Querido and I took the cozier second bedroom. Miss Precious's crib got squeezed into her brothers' room and now it is just collecting dust because she still sleeps with us...lol! All of this musical chairs methodology made room for what we now call the music/media room (aka: computer room)! I was so excited..finally my hubby would have a place to rock out!

But sadly, my inspiration took a nosedive when I attempted to mix up some old paint colors for a frugal way to cover the turquoise walls. (Yes, the boys' room was turquoise...and yes, WE were the ones that did that...lol!) I ran out of paint and so there has been an uneven turquoise swath about a foot deep all around the top of the room. It just looked awful, but budget constraints prevented me from fixing it.

Last weekend, I found an oops paint at Lowe's for FIVE DOLLARS! It is a lovely chocolate brown and slowly the decorating inspiration started to bubble. I thought about how I wanted the room to feel. Kind of lounge-ish and laid back.

We added a spare bed and turned it into a low couch. Plopped on some pillows and voila! Instant lounge! Something was still missing.
I also wanted some color to pop it. Originally, I considered orange to pair with the chocolate and maybe some lime green accents. (No, we are not afraid of bold color in the FITPH household..lol!) But then, Saturday night I couldn't sleep. I was up reading blogs (probably didn't help the insomnia any) and I just kept seeing the half-finished border out of the corner of my eye. Every time I turned around, there was the cavernous closet stuffed full of odds and ends. Very unpeaceful, very un-laid back. I decided to look through my fabric stash and see if I had ANYTHING that might cover up the cluttered closet. And then I found my inspiration....

My mom had given to me because, although she loved it, she couldn't find a use for it. If I remember what she told me, it is a hand-dyed batik. Oh it is just gorgeous and has the refined funky look I was thinking of. But I too suffered from the inability to find a use for it. Until now...

Stay tuned for my MoRockin' Room update (get it...Moroccan...MoRockin'? I crack myself up sometimes...lol!)

Redefining Your Interior

As I was perusing Melissa's lovely blog, I started to think to myself that "I bet I could do that too!" (My love of rearranging rooms goes way back and continues to cause more labor for my patient hubby today.) Tenatively, I wrote her an email with a couple of questions about interior refining. I didn't really expect an answer, but I hoped for one. She wrote me back the most beautiful email! In it, she encouraged me to use the strengths that God has given me. And to pursue my passions.

As I replied to her letter, I started thinking about all the things that I see others able to do, and how much I wished I could be them. "So-and-so could do it so much better than I could." and "She is more gifted than me."
How many times have you found yourself uttering those phrases?

Growing up, I lived in the shadow of my younger sister's abilities. She is naturally gifted in just about every area: muscially, artistically and even in writing. I often felt like I had nothing special to offer, nothing that would truly define me. (I have yet to find something that I am better at..lol!) And, even now, I find the old record player starting up every now and then.

But God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. And it is not up to me to decide what my talent is to be. He decided that for me a long time ago. It is my job to use what He has given me for His glory.

So let me leave you with this encouragement: The next time you are tempted to think less of your abilities, remember this...

"You don't have to have the exact same skills as someone else (I know I don't) but you can still be of great effectiveness and maybe even MORE effective because you will be uniquely gifted in your passions." Melissa Michaels -The Inspired Room

We all need encouragement to be ourselves and realize that God can work through us. Let Melissa's words inspire you and encourage you as they have me. The Lord has given us unique talents, but sometimes we are so busy envying the gifting of those surrounding us that we don't notice what we have in our own hands. Open up your eyes and look around, you never know what He will use!

Phantoms From My Past

Do you ever have a dream that seems so real? One that you can remember upon waking? Well, you dear reader, get to walk down Memory Lane with me today.

Let me preface this post with a disclaimer: I am still very much in love with my husband, Mr. Querido. I have no control over what I dream. And no, my dream did not consist of a hot, steamy love affair! This blog will always be rated G: for God-honoring!

OK now care to talk a walk?

Back when I was sixteen, I fell head over heels in love with a nineteen year-old Nascar-lovin' boy. We'll call him Mr. Crush (as in I had one for him for over a year before he noticed me...sad, I know...). He was tall, fair-skinned and had dark hair. Our parents were good friends and couldn't have been more happy when we started dating. His father always joked that if arranged marriages were still done, that I would have been bought and paid for. (Um, who else thinks that is just a tad creepy? At the time, I just thought it was sweet and endearing.) We dated for a while and things started to get serious, like we-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together-serious. One July day on a trip to the beach with our youth group from church, he proposed. The memories of that day are still burned inside my head. It was completely romantic and I was on cloud nine. Excitedly I planned my dream wedding to my dream man. We were ages seventeen and twenty at the time. So young, so optomistic and full of expectation.

One evening in December I went over to my intended's apartment, which he shared with his brother. We were talking and then all of a sudden he got really quiet. I remember feeling uneasy in the pit of my stomach. Slowly and painfully he told me that he didn't want to get married. In my naivete I told him we could postpone the wedding and get counseling to work through whatever we needed to. He then spoke the words that crushed me into a million pieces, "I don't want to postpone the wedding. I don't want to marry you, ever." Blindsided. Shocked. Numb. I remember him getting up from the couch and walking over to the front door and holding it open. Heartbroken and still in shock I walked trancelike past him and handed him the ring. As I walked down the stairs, I stopped midstep and crumpled to the concrete. Sobbing uncontrollably I was paralyzed with grief and shock.


***Here I will share an excerpt from a journal****

"Those cold lonely stairs. Ice-cold concrete, hard unmoving. So cold and alone. Once part of someone, now thrown away like refuse. Tears sting my cheeks in the biting wind. I was frozen to the very core of my being. Love had whooshed out of my soul leaving vacuous space. Suffocating anguish threatened to envelope me. And amidst all the chaos of soul; hope flickers, not completely extinguished. Would he come enfold me in his embrace? As if to answer my broken heart's query, he quietly shut the door behind me. The embers of hope died along with the flame of love as the door creaked to a close.

***********************

Five months into our engagement it was over. What had gone wrong? Why didn't he love me anymore? Stubbornly my heart refused to except reality. The cold rain continued to fall like tears as I walked to my car, alone. I sat in the driver's seat and laid my head on the steering wheel and cried. I don't know how long I sat there, but I remembered that my mom would be worried if I got home late. ( I had called her from his apartment and told her something had happened and that I was coming home....looking back on it as a mother now myself, what torture I must have put her through in that moment..I'm sorry mom!) How was I suppose to get safely home when I was crying so hard I couldn't see in front of me? Raindrops on my windshield mirrored my tears. I cried out to God and begged Him to stop my tears for I could not. The grief was uncontrollable. But Someone was there Who could control my grief for me. The tears miraculously stopped. I arrived safely home and fell into the waiting arms of my mother.

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OK, care to take a deep breath? This little jaunt down Memory Lane has me a bit out of breath. The raw emotion comes back to me when I read what I wrote. *big deep breath* All right, now let's get to the dream.

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I was in his house, with his parents and we were all eating pizza. The tantalizing aroma filled the air. I remember munching on the crust (my favorite part). And it was like we had all gathered for old time's sake. He and I were like old friends, just chatting about what had gone on in our lives. I vaguely remember being self-concsious about how I looked because after giving birth to three kids I definitely didn't look the same as when we had been engaged. He looked exactly the same as before. I sat chatting with his mom and dad and then the topic of conversation turned toward that night in Decemeber. I asked his mom and dad why they never called me or talked to me again after that. They got a sad look on their faces and explained that they had been torn between their love for their son and their affection for me. Of course, their son took precedence over me! I told them how hurt I had been and how I had wished they had called me or talked to me at church. They said that they wished they could have handled it better, but they were only human and made mistakes too.

I thanked Mr. Crush for not marrying me. As I showed him photos of my husband and kids, I told him how happy I was married to Mr. Querido. I was content in the life I have rather than wishing about the life I had.

And then, I woke up.


In my dream, I had finally made peace with the phantoms from my past.


-----------------------

While reading my journal, I ran across a mock-letter that I wrote to Mr. Crush:

Mr. Crush,
I don't imagine you know how profoundly you would mark my life when you uttered those words that night. You shattered my heart and crushed my dreams. I began to believe that I was the problem and the one to blame. To continue living in this anguished state I refused to feel beyond that night. The anger and rage begot by deepest rejection were stored away in a part of my heart I hoped never to open. I willed myself to pick up the phone and call you when I heard you were moving. Forgiveness was out of conviction not borne of true mercy. How could I forgive you, you who stole my heart, my first kiss and my dreams? How could I forgive my first love whose ambivalence shattered my future? The words that I uttered on the phone that day were simply spoken, not felt. I wanted myself to hear I was all right and that I could go on. What a lie! I still fight with the part of me that insists I was the one who caused it all to go bad. Why couldn't you have told me that there was someone else or that you weren't ready for marriage? ANYTHING besides I was the problem! Whatever bitterness that had been felt has been replaced by relief. You and I would have been a horrible match. I have evolved so much from the timid young girl you used to know. Now I am strong, assertive and wife and mother. I am completely different. And for that alone I am grateful for what you did. I would have been miserable married to you. I never would have discovered the world my husband has opened to me. I am content and not bitter. I am grateful and not resentful. I am the opposite of heartbroken, I am reborn.

----------------------------

That was my first heartbreak, and it has taken me a long time to see the hidden blessing behind it. For a long time I asked God why He had allowed me to fall so deeply in love and hadn't warned me about the trainwreck ahead. I realized that He probably had warned me, I was just too in love with being in love to hear. God was still in it all and walked through it all with me. He helped me to pick up the pieces of my soul and slowly put it back together. And even back then He was ordering my steps.

GASP!

This humble blogger has received an award! I am still in shock. And this was from someone I didn't even know was reading my blog...lol! Check out my lurker at her place.

So now I get to nominate seven of my favorite bloggers. Hmmmm... Oh wait, I have to post the rules first!

Here are the rules:

1. Please put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. You must nominate 7 fellow bloggers for this award.
4. Add links to the recipients.
5. Leave a comment so the recipients know they have received an award.

Here are the blogs I frequent on a daily, sometimes twice daily basis!

Mt. Hope Chronicles-- I go here daily for homeschooling inspiration, decorating ideas and all of her GORGEOUS photos.

Life as Mom-- This mom has a her hands full and STILL manages to blog! Find encouragement and understanding for being a mother here.

We are THAT family-- Kristen is my daily giggle! This gal will inspire you and encourage you with her humor.

the petersons go public-- She is a mom of four boys and still manages to keep sane! Jennifer is also an interior decorator..you'll love her ideas!

Nesting Place-- Sigh. I just love going here for the frugal decorating ideas. The Nester can do amazing things with Priscilla (her hot glue gun) and some fabric.

Moneysavingmom-- THE place to go for frugal advice and coupon mania!

So there you have it, seven of my favorite daily reads! Go check them out and congratulate them :)

TV or not TV...

Mr. Querido and I have been TV-less for almost a whole month. Wow. For a recovering TV-aholic such as myself, that is a LONG time! But I don't miss it. I have more time to spend reading, *cough* blogging *cough*, working on my writing, and interacting with family. That last part is important because my husband is working full time AND going to school at night (two nights out of the week). We have more time to chat in the evenings or labor in our yard.

I never realized how much time television sucked out of my life until I quit watching. Life is fuller, more vibrant without the blue flickering glow. Oh, there have been times when I felt the magnetic pull toward the Box, but I resisted. I knew that if I ever went back, I would be sucked in to that TV trance again. Besides, I need to set an example for my children. They need to know that TV is not life and cannot become a substitute for life.

My other revelation was that all my favorite TV shows didn't glorify God. Why would I want to spend time doing something that didn't bring Him glory? That is the ultimate waste of time! Not only did those shows not bring Him glory, they did not foster character traits in me that I would be proud of. My favorite "people" became replacements for the real people in my life. Even worse, they became more important. My "friends" didn't require anything from me except for my time. "They" didn't need anything or want anything. I could just sit there and not have to feel or do anything. TV was my drug of choice.

When I think back to how many hours I flushed watching frivolous junk, I want to weep. But I cannot go back and change the past, I can only go forward. And thankfully, I have woken up from the trance of the flickering blue light before it was too late.

Works for Me Wednesday

Yay, I am so excited to participate in Works for Me Wednesday! So here is what works for us...

With two boys under the age of five, we get a lot of boo-boos over here. Lots of bruises, scrapes and bumped heads.



Enter Arnica Gel...



This green goo provides a soothing anti-inflammatory barrier. Works like magic on gooseggs and other cranial injuries. Plus it can double as a blemish creme. Arnica Gel won't prevent the pimples, but it will make them disappear overnight!

We have thoroughly tested the product over here in the FITPH household. It gets our stamp of approval! For more creative ideas check out Rocks in My Dryer!

Dot dot dot

After reading through some old posts of mine, I just realized that I use (...) a lot. Like some bloggers use LOL in excess, I overuse (...). So...what is the importance of this? Not much really, just thought it was amusing...

Avoiding Those Arches, Bells and Crowns...

While reading about Jennifer's impulse splurge I thought about the answer to her query. What places do we avoid now that we have reduced income and are committed to getting out of debt?

Fast food restaurants, or restaurants in general for that matter!

I can recall RARE times where we have had someone that could watch the kids for us and we could go to a sit down dinner in a nice restaurant. Inevitably, the food would be mediocre and overpriced and there would always be a nice big helping of guilt and eater's regret on the side. We might as well have been sauteeing our dollar bills and chopping up our change. After our last dining fiasco, Mr. Querido and I agreed that restaurants are overrated and we would prefer a luxurious dinner at home where there is no side of regret served for dessert.

So this got me thinking about how much we might have spent in one year on eating out. I decided to tally up what we have spent so far this year, average it and then multiply it by twelve for an approximation on what we might have spent.

Average workday expenditure on eating out: $4.61
Average weekly expenditure on eating out: $23.06
Average monthly expenditure on eating out: $92.25! (Holey Guacamole!)
Average yearly expenditure on eating out: $1107.00...ouch that really hurts...

Now keep in mind that we have been on a serious budget since I stopped working after Miss Precious was born...ten months ago. Before that, eating out was a regular event. Especially because I was often too tired from working to actually put a meal together. So I think we could have easily spent more like $2000.00 a year on eating out.

And let's not forget what kind of places we dined at.. "have it your way" on the way to the poorhouse King, gourmet Mexican cuisine that has "you running to the border" from your creditors, and the all American burger joint open late-night so you can snack your way into bankruptcy at 1 am.

Convenience isn't so convenient when you realize that your checkbook is hemorrhaging at the drive-thru window!

Now, Mr. Querido and I make sure that the kids have something to snack on in the car, a bottle of water for thirst and we happily breeze by those golden arches.

***I should mention that no, we are not on our way to the poorhouse or bankruptcy God has provided well for us and we are blessed!***

Fuel Your Faith...

Be inspired...



"You have to choose what you magnify."
~Mike Guglielmucci

Am I going to magnify my situation or am I going to magnify God, Who is infinitely bigger than my situation?



HEALER
Composed by Mike Guglielmucci
Hillsong

Lyrics:

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging sea
You walk with me through fire
You heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You

And I believe You're my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my Portion
I believe that You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

Copyright 2008 Hillsong Music

Defiant faith. Faith in spite of what we see.

Hebrews 10:23
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

Progress for Miss Precious

Miss Precious in progress...


Learning how to walk with Daddy...



Eating cheerios (if you look really closely you can see one in her mouth!)..

Communication Gap..

Gen 2-3
Within this text, we see the creation of man and woman. The first marriage was instituted by God. We also see the first sin. I was struck by the fact that in Scripture, it never directly says that God reiterated to Eve His command to not eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. It only states that He told man (meaning Adam) the command. So I cannot help but wonder if a communication breakdown happened in the Garden. Eve states to the serpent in Gen 3:2-3 that God commanded that she and Adam couldn't eat or EVEN TOUCH the fruit of the tree or they would surely die. Why did she add the touching part? Did Adam tell his wife "Now honey, you see that beautiful tree in the middle of the Garden? God said we can't eat the fruit or we will die. On second thought, just don't even touch it!" Why did God leave the command only for Adam and not for Eve? Did he expect the husband to communicate the order effectively and clearly? How was Eve supposed to know the original command if she hadn't yet been created when it was given?

Does the communication gap between the sexes date all the way back to the Garden of Eden? Perhaps the first lie that was told in the Garden wasn't told by the serpent...