Sacred Joy Restored

Originally this post was written in July. But I was afraid it was too touchy of a subject to put on a Christian blog. However, the I Corinthians 7:5 Challenge and my husband's gentle prodding have emboldened me to actually publish it instead of letting it languish in the drafts file.

Today's post is going to be a little sensitive. I had a revelation while doing my Biblestudy. I am still going through that marriage Biblestudy I talked about here.

The topic was the sexual relationship inside of marriage. So, you have been forwarned. Also, let me remind my readers that this blog is always rated G for God-honoring. You will not find any crass, lewd or ungodly thoughts about sex here. And I do not profess to know everything there is to know about this topic either. I am simply sharing what God shared with me while I did my Biblestudy.

So, without further ado, let's dive in!


So what do you think about when you hear the word sex? Dark, dirty and shameful? Beautiful, God-pleasing and guilt-free? I must admit that my first inclination is to think the former rather than the latter. But, my views on sex within marriage have been tainted by sin. My husband and I had premarital sexual relations. Sadly, we were both Christians at the time. For a long time I thought that made what I did so much worse. I knew the truth and yet I traded it for a lie. In my eyes, that was much worse than someone who didn't know God and did that before they got saved. But sin is sin. In God's eyes there is no worse sin than the other. It all has the same effect: separation from God. For years, I believed the lie from Satan that because I had fallen in that area, I wouldn't have a testimony worth sharing. I had screwed up. There was no redemption in my eyes. But then I started to notice that most of the people in the Bible that God used, had sinned grieviously, such as I had. But He used them in spite of their sin. Our God is a God of redemption. I realize that God's plan for my life wasn't derailed back then. He still has a purpose for me, a good purpose. Not a second rate calling. He didn't look down and say "Well, I guess I can find a place for her to serve, but it's going to be a bit difficult considering the circumstances." He works through all kinds of people, with all kinds of sins in their past. Just the fact that my husband and I are still together is testament to His power, not ours. A while back, I read a statistic that impacted me. Out of five marriages that began with premarital relations, one in five will last beyond the first five years. We are already into our sixth year. Praise God! And we have three beautiful children whom we are raising up to serve and love the Lord. He truly creates beauty from ashes. From the ashes of the consuming fire of selfish lust, He created a strong relationship that glorifies Him.

Which brings me to today's revelation.

"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV)

Do you know how many times I have read that verse and really not taken it to heart? Too many. But last night His Word spoke to me. The marriage bed is undefiled. What does defile mean? To make foul, dirty, or unclean; pollute; taint; debase. Another definition reads: to make impure for ceremonial use; desecrate. So undefiled would mean it is good, clean, unpolluted, not tainted, pure for ceremonial use and sacred. Do you think of sex as something sacred between you, your spouse and God? It never really sank in until last night. God created that special relationship. When a man and a woman come together within the protective bonds of marriage, it is a good thing in His eyes. We are suppose to enjoy each other and refresh each other. When I am pleasing my husband sexually, I am pleasing God too. Does that sound sacreligious to you? Sex and God, in the same sentence. Equating satisfying my husband with glorifying God. I will admit that there are parts of me that still feel (for lack of a better word) weird to even think of the two in the same context. But God even uses the sexual relationship to help define for us the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5:31-32). Why would He use something that isn't holy to define what is holy? The answer is simple. Sex, between a husband and wife is holy. God ordained it to be so.

Do you feel like your marriage bed has been defiled by sins from your past? I certainly did. But according to the Bible if I am in Christ I am made new and the old things have passed away. I don't have to let the sins from my past define who I am in the present or who I will become in the future. It says "all things are made new." All things is inclusive of everything. Everything, even my relationship with my husband can be made new if I am in Christ.

Here are my thoughts after reading those verses:
"The marriage bed is undefiled. He has cleansed me from all unrighteousness. My past sexual sin is covered under His Blood. My marriage bed is cleansed from past sin, wrong thoughts, mindsets or attitudes. My sexual relationship with my husband brings honor, not shame. I am no longer slave to my guilt. There is no condemnation because I am in Christ Jesus."

So I challenge you to revamp your thinking about the sexual relationship of marriage if your thinking doesn't line up with His. He created marital sex to reflect something holy. It is pure even if it didn't start off pure. Within marriage sex is holy and sacred. Don't let the world define it for you, let God define it for you. And if you have committed sexual sin in the past, confess it and He will forgive it and remember it no more then you too can start out anew, afresh.

Challenging!

Today I was reading my favorite mommy blog and she issued a challenge to all of us married ladies...



For thirty days I am PURPOSing to kiss my husband at least once a day--with passion!

I don't know about you, but when was the last time you had a soul-sizzling kiss with your man? One that gave you butterflies and goosebumps? Sigh. Yeah me too. Far too long ago.

So as I PURPOSE to make my marriage a priority, I am going to do so with PASSION !

Do you want to join me? Grab the button from the blog!

And, here is challenge number two, which takes a bit more energy...



Which, is something that also too often takes a back seat to every day life. This February, I am so excited because our church is having a marriage retreat at the beach. And we get to GO! Let me set the stage for you...we have not been away for a weekend with just the two of us EVER...we have been married almost seven years. Yeah, pathetic I know. But between babies and being broke, we just weren't able to fit it in.
Our dear friends from church have so graciously agreed to watch our three kids. GOD BLESS THEM! And we are going to rekindle the flame in our passion...as well as walk on the beach...lol!

So I figure jumping in on this I Corinthians 7:5 Challenge is just what I need to ramp up the expectation :)

You can join up with the IC7:5C at this blog.

Are you up for the challenge?

Everyday Blessings

Good friends are a blessing from the Lord!

(My daughter is not choking on anything...she is industriously chewing on a spoon!)

Trying Again...

It has been almost three weeks since I sent off a letter of forgiveness to my estranged father.

I still haven't gotten a reply.

But I might have sent it to the wrong address.

So, I am going to send another one out to a more updated address I got from my sister who (unbeknownst to me) has been in letter contact with him since last year!

I have high hopes. She got some really nice sounding letters from him. Dare I say, letters that make me think he has changed from when I last knew him. However, it is easy to shine it on when you are hundreds of miles from meeting face to face. She lives in Alaska.

My dad and I live in the same state. Actually about forty minutes apart. A face to face meeting is more realistic for me than for my sister.

I went through a lot of heartache before I decided it was just time to let go of him. I don't want to have to go through that again. But without risk there are no rewards. I will however, be very careful to erect emotional barriers so as to protect my vulnerable heart. But it is hard to lay out boundaries for yourself when you want something so badly.

And I want a real relationship with my father...badly.

So, with a lot of hope and prayer, I send off a second letter.

Even Mondays...

" Jesus Christ is the same Monday, today and forever."

(Quoted by Mr. Independent when asked to recite our memory verse--Hebrews 13:8-- for the week)


I guess we all need to be reminded that Jesus is the same...even on Mondays! :)


"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Amen."

Hebrews 13:8

Finding the Purpose.....

My word for 2009 is PURPOSE.

No, I don't particularly need to find my PURPOSE. I decided to pick PURPOSE because I need to be PURPOSEful in what I do and how I live.

I find that a lot of times, I just do things without really thinking about why I am doing them. It is all by rote and without meaning.

This year I PURPOSE to find PURPOSE in the everyday. As a keeper of the home (KOH), it can feel like I am not making a dent in anything except for my laundry pile! Everything I do as a KOH has PURPOSE in it, but it is up to me to find it.

My PURPOSE in the organization of my home is to have a welcoming sanctuary. A smoothly-run place to raise my children in. A great example for my children about how to be a good steward of what God has given us.

These are the underlying PURPOSEs behind organization and cleanliness.

I want to create a home where people feel peaceful, rested, rejuvenated, revitalized, serene, welcomed, protected, safe, secure, warm, invited, joyful, etc. Having a cluttered, disorganized, poorly kept home does not make people (especially those that live here) feel any of what I just described above.

So for January, my word is ORGANIZE. I PURPOSE to ORGANIZE my home so that it flows better and becomes the welcoming place I want it to be.

My Word...

A brand new year has begun. I find it increasingly difficult to keep up with life's breakneck pace. Some days I feel that I am treading water trying to keep my head up. And other days I don't do near quite as well!

But regardless of how I feel, a new year is birthed today. A year that will be full of firsts, challenges, hopes, dreams, growing, falling, loving and living.

I was reading through one of my favorite inspiration blogs, Mt. Hope Chronicles, and Heidi has this project dubbed "One Little Word." Every year, she picks one word to focus her energies on for that year. And then she picks a word for each month that ties in with her OLW for the year.

I like to think of it as a sort of meditation for the year. A small way to keep the focus on what is really important.

So, with that in mind here are some ideas I came up with:

Diligence:: who doesn't need more of that...I certainly do, just ask my hubby!

Family:: it is so easy to get sidetracked with raising a family that being one falls by the wayside...

Enjoy:: with life's pace, it is so hard to remember to stop and take part in the little joys of it.

Organization:: as a mother of three little ones, this is definitely an ideal I could aspire to!

See how hard it is to just pick one!

But after much deliberation, I have chosen Purpose as my OLW for 2009. I can save other ideas for my monthly words.

Thanks Heidi for the inspiration!