Called to Completion

This morning, I woke up at 5:48 am. For those of you who are unaware, this is not an everyday occurrence...lol...I am NOT a morning person. I laid in bed and tried to go back to sleep, but sleep eluded me. So I got up and decided to continue reading in my marriage biblestudy that I have been doing.

I was reading the part in Genesis about when God curses the man and woman for their disobedience to His Word. (Gen. 3:16-17)What specifically arrested my attention was the part "Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife," As I continued further into the study for that day, it went on to question was there anything that I was trying to control in our marriage. And of course, the blithe answer would be OF COURSE NOT! My man is in control...I don't manipulate.

Then God gently tapped me on the shoulder "Um, Mrs. Q, are you sure about that?"
Me: "Well of course I am. I am a good wife who allows her husband to lead in ALL areas (note my exaggeration of reality, I am trying to convince myself of my goodness)!"
God: "I think you should think that answer over again, Daughter."
Me: "(whining a little)But why?"
God: "Because you are tearing down your marriage word by word when you usurp the authority that I have given your husband."
Me: "(meekly)Oh."

God and I went on to have a much more involved conversation about what areas I was STILL attempting to control. Sigh. I have a lot of work to do.

Then I continued on in the biblestudy...
And I came to this part:
"Is your husband's God-ordained authority in the home an issue for you? Do you vie for control? In what areas? Finances? Parenting? Career? Color-coordinating his clothes? What does competition in your home look like? How is it impacting your relationship?" Judy Rossi-Enhancing Your Marriage

Uh..gulp..guilty. It seemed ridiculous at first, but I love being coordinated with my husband on Sunday mornings. He hates being coordinated. He thinks that it's stupid. I think that it's cute and a sign of true one-ship in a marriage. Probably because my parents always matched when going to church. I think I also viewed it as a way to identify myself with him. "I'm obviously with him and he is obviously with me." I have fought for control with him in this area our whole six years of marriage. No more, I am not going to attempt to match him any more. Upon further heart inspection, as I am writing this, I discovered the real root reason for wanting to match. I am afraid that he doesn't want to be a part of me or be associated with me. Like his defiance of wanting to be matchy-matchy is declaration of his independence. Which, is true, but it doesn't mean he wants to be independently independent from me! He wants to keep part of his identity rather than me determining it for him.

Which brings me to the next revelation...

"Whether or not we're in a dual income marriage, it's necessary to drive home a very important point here: the frightening reality is that God will hold every husband accountable for his God-ordained role in the home as a leader, provider and protector, even if he's not a believer. That role was established in his soul from the beginning. A wife's competition for her husband's role as head of the family will yield one of two reactions from him: either he'll withdraw and let her take over, or he'll fight back. If she deliberately and willfully cajoles, manipulates and nags in order to impose her will in an area of her husband's responsibility (which is not the same as offering wise counsel), she is in sin.If he allows her to take over his role, he is in sin." Judy Rossi-Enhancing Your Marriage

Did you get that? It hit me square between the eyes. I AM IN SIN if I attempt to control or manipulate my husband out of his GOD-ORDAINED place of authority. Wow. That was revelation to me. I never knew that! I have been sinning this whole time thinking that I was just helping him. And if he were to abdicate that authority to me, he would have been in sin. Thank God I have a husband who is willing to fight for what God rightfully gave him.

Judy Rossi said one sentence that really stopped me and got me thinking:
"Instead of being my husband's completer, I was his competer."

So I encourage you ladies to let God search your hearts and stretch your faith a little. Let Him show you areas that you are competing in against your husband. As for me, I am going to make sure that my husband is wearing whatever color he wants to, regardless of what I am wearing! I think that not being identical shows off the beauty of and uniqueness of both, don't you agree?

Just as my skin color differs from that of my husband, so do our personalities and God-given callings. We are equal in God's eyes, but that does not mean we are the same. We have the same value but different functions. Put together, we are beautiful and harmonious. Celebrate the harmony in your life!

**I know that I said I was taking a blogging break, but I just had to share what God had showed me. Plus, writing it down helped to cement it in my heart.**