Sacred Joy Restored

Originally this post was written in July. But I was afraid it was too touchy of a subject to put on a Christian blog. However, the I Corinthians 7:5 Challenge and my husband's gentle prodding have emboldened me to actually publish it instead of letting it languish in the drafts file.

Today's post is going to be a little sensitive. I had a revelation while doing my Biblestudy. I am still going through that marriage Biblestudy I talked about here.

The topic was the sexual relationship inside of marriage. So, you have been forwarned. Also, let me remind my readers that this blog is always rated G for God-honoring. You will not find any crass, lewd or ungodly thoughts about sex here. And I do not profess to know everything there is to know about this topic either. I am simply sharing what God shared with me while I did my Biblestudy.

So, without further ado, let's dive in!


So what do you think about when you hear the word sex? Dark, dirty and shameful? Beautiful, God-pleasing and guilt-free? I must admit that my first inclination is to think the former rather than the latter. But, my views on sex within marriage have been tainted by sin. My husband and I had premarital sexual relations. Sadly, we were both Christians at the time. For a long time I thought that made what I did so much worse. I knew the truth and yet I traded it for a lie. In my eyes, that was much worse than someone who didn't know God and did that before they got saved. But sin is sin. In God's eyes there is no worse sin than the other. It all has the same effect: separation from God. For years, I believed the lie from Satan that because I had fallen in that area, I wouldn't have a testimony worth sharing. I had screwed up. There was no redemption in my eyes. But then I started to notice that most of the people in the Bible that God used, had sinned grieviously, such as I had. But He used them in spite of their sin. Our God is a God of redemption. I realize that God's plan for my life wasn't derailed back then. He still has a purpose for me, a good purpose. Not a second rate calling. He didn't look down and say "Well, I guess I can find a place for her to serve, but it's going to be a bit difficult considering the circumstances." He works through all kinds of people, with all kinds of sins in their past. Just the fact that my husband and I are still together is testament to His power, not ours. A while back, I read a statistic that impacted me. Out of five marriages that began with premarital relations, one in five will last beyond the first five years. We are already into our sixth year. Praise God! And we have three beautiful children whom we are raising up to serve and love the Lord. He truly creates beauty from ashes. From the ashes of the consuming fire of selfish lust, He created a strong relationship that glorifies Him.

Which brings me to today's revelation.

"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13:4 (NKJV)

Do you know how many times I have read that verse and really not taken it to heart? Too many. But last night His Word spoke to me. The marriage bed is undefiled. What does defile mean? To make foul, dirty, or unclean; pollute; taint; debase. Another definition reads: to make impure for ceremonial use; desecrate. So undefiled would mean it is good, clean, unpolluted, not tainted, pure for ceremonial use and sacred. Do you think of sex as something sacred between you, your spouse and God? It never really sank in until last night. God created that special relationship. When a man and a woman come together within the protective bonds of marriage, it is a good thing in His eyes. We are suppose to enjoy each other and refresh each other. When I am pleasing my husband sexually, I am pleasing God too. Does that sound sacreligious to you? Sex and God, in the same sentence. Equating satisfying my husband with glorifying God. I will admit that there are parts of me that still feel (for lack of a better word) weird to even think of the two in the same context. But God even uses the sexual relationship to help define for us the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5:31-32). Why would He use something that isn't holy to define what is holy? The answer is simple. Sex, between a husband and wife is holy. God ordained it to be so.

Do you feel like your marriage bed has been defiled by sins from your past? I certainly did. But according to the Bible if I am in Christ I am made new and the old things have passed away. I don't have to let the sins from my past define who I am in the present or who I will become in the future. It says "all things are made new." All things is inclusive of everything. Everything, even my relationship with my husband can be made new if I am in Christ.

Here are my thoughts after reading those verses:
"The marriage bed is undefiled. He has cleansed me from all unrighteousness. My past sexual sin is covered under His Blood. My marriage bed is cleansed from past sin, wrong thoughts, mindsets or attitudes. My sexual relationship with my husband brings honor, not shame. I am no longer slave to my guilt. There is no condemnation because I am in Christ Jesus."

So I challenge you to revamp your thinking about the sexual relationship of marriage if your thinking doesn't line up with His. He created marital sex to reflect something holy. It is pure even if it didn't start off pure. Within marriage sex is holy and sacred. Don't let the world define it for you, let God define it for you. And if you have committed sexual sin in the past, confess it and He will forgive it and remember it no more then you too can start out anew, afresh.