Today our city is blanketed in frozen snow. We will not be going anywhere.
The kids are anxious to get outside and make snowmen.
Did I mention it is only 24 degrees outside? And with the windchill factor, it brings it down to 11 degrees!
They will probably only stay out for fifteen minutes...or less...the wind is really blowing!
Yes, I am a wimp when it comes to cold weather.
My sister who lives in Alaska is probably laughing at me right now. They are supposed to get down to zero sometime this week.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Thank You Lord for a nice, functioning wood stove! I love the smell of woodsmoke. It is something so homey and comforting.
I am off to enjoy the snow day with my kids!
FIVE IN THE POTTER'S HAND
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Dirty Laundry
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word."
Ephesians 5:25-26
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
John 1:1
As I wrote my father a letter, this revelation came. Isn't it funny how when you are in obedience to His will, He speaks? :)
The Word that is mentioned in Ephesians is Jesus. He washes us with Himself. The Bible is Jesus in print.
I am sure many of you have figured that one out long before I did, but it was like my eyes were opened and I saw my Bible for the very first time.
The Word of God is Jesus.
"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..."
John 1:14
Submersion in Him makes me clean. You can only be submerged if you choose to stay under. I have to make a conscious decision to stay in the Word. And it says "washing" which means that it is done more than once. As all of us know who are in charge of the laundry...washing is a continual thing that has to be done. We do not stay clean. Our clothes tend toward entropy. And just as our wardrobes do, so also do our souls.
We get dirty daily. Our lives are contaminated by the filth of our sin nature. But we don't have to leave the dirty laundry on the floor to mildew and putrify. We can take ourselves to the WORD and be cleansed.
Thank You Lord for the Word!
It is only in the Word, Jesus, that we are sanctified and made holy. We are washed and reclothed in His righteousness.
Praise the Lord for that!
Ephesians 5:25-26
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
John 1:1
As I wrote my father a letter, this revelation came. Isn't it funny how when you are in obedience to His will, He speaks? :)
The Word that is mentioned in Ephesians is Jesus. He washes us with Himself. The Bible is Jesus in print.
I am sure many of you have figured that one out long before I did, but it was like my eyes were opened and I saw my Bible for the very first time.
The Word of God is Jesus.
"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us..."
John 1:14
Submersion in Him makes me clean. You can only be submerged if you choose to stay under. I have to make a conscious decision to stay in the Word. And it says "washing" which means that it is done more than once. As all of us know who are in charge of the laundry...washing is a continual thing that has to be done. We do not stay clean. Our clothes tend toward entropy. And just as our wardrobes do, so also do our souls.
We get dirty daily. Our lives are contaminated by the filth of our sin nature. But we don't have to leave the dirty laundry on the floor to mildew and putrify. We can take ourselves to the WORD and be cleansed.
Thank You Lord for the Word!
It is only in the Word, Jesus, that we are sanctified and made holy. We are washed and reclothed in His righteousness.
Praise the Lord for that!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Teeter-Totter...
Recently I have been thinking about my estranged father, a lot. I have even dreamed about him once or twice. We haven't spoken in over three years.
He knows nothing about Miss Precious.
The whole thing is just too complicated to explain in one post. And far too lengthy to constrain to a couple of posts. So I will give you the brief version.
My father and mother got divorced when I was 25....I think. I can't remember that well.
His lifestyle was not one that I wanted to be displayed near my impressionable young boys (ages 3 and 1 at that point). So after trying to make our relationship work, and finding out it was rather one-sided, I decided to cut him loose.
Cutting someone out of your life isn't as easy as it sounds. With the severing comes the tearing of the soft parts in your heart. The fragile tissues of your soul that still hold onto hope of a better relationship. Those emotions don't relinquish their hold on your heart. Only by the flood of many scalding and anguished tears are those heartstrings weakened.
Eventually, I went many days, then months, then years without him coming to mind. After careful practice of pushing him aside, out of memory, I realized he had ceased to exist in my world.
Until now.
I don't know if it is just the familial atmosphere of Christmastime or just fond memories come to haunt the holidays, but for some reason, I have been contemplating contacting him.
I tried looking him up in the Yellow Pages. No listing. I even tried a person search. I found out that he was still living in the same city as before.
Here is where the complications arise. I am in the Yellow Pages too. He could find me if he really wanted to. He could call me. So why doesn't he?
All growing up I had to be the adult between us. I am tired of being the adult in my relationship with my father. I want to be the little girl who crawls up into his lap for a welcoming hug.
How I yearn for that hug.
And so I go back and forth between desperately longing to have him be part of my life, and stubbornly trying to close the door on that part of my life.
I am scared to open the door. Who is on the other side?
And of course, because I am a Christian, the issue of forgiveness arises.
Can you forgive someone and still not have them be a part of your life? Can you bring closure to the situation without talking to them?
Have I forgiven him already, but because I don't feel it, do I just continue to torture myself?
I don't hate him. I feel really nothing for him at all. Numbness born of many disappointments.
And how do I reintroduce him to my kids if I decide to let him be a part of our lives again? My oldest still remembers him at times. Oh, I have prayed that he would forget the man that didn't wish to be father or grandfather. But children love so easily and wholeheartedly. Which is why they have parents to protect them.
I am so conflicted!
I know who my father was. But what if he has changed? Does he get a second chance?
What if he hasn't changed? Can I deal with that all over again?
If it only affected me, I might have contacted him sooner. But because it includes my husband and children, I am reluctant to reconcile.
You may think that I bear bitterness and hatred toward him. I don't. There is much sadness wrapped up in my relationship with my father, but no bitterness. He was bitter, but I refused to allow that to contaminate my life. He pushed me away, not the other way around.
Please don't judge my actions. Only God can do that with accuracy.
So I go back and forth, on a teeter-totter of indecision.
He knows nothing about Miss Precious.
The whole thing is just too complicated to explain in one post. And far too lengthy to constrain to a couple of posts. So I will give you the brief version.
My father and mother got divorced when I was 25....I think. I can't remember that well.
His lifestyle was not one that I wanted to be displayed near my impressionable young boys (ages 3 and 1 at that point). So after trying to make our relationship work, and finding out it was rather one-sided, I decided to cut him loose.
Cutting someone out of your life isn't as easy as it sounds. With the severing comes the tearing of the soft parts in your heart. The fragile tissues of your soul that still hold onto hope of a better relationship. Those emotions don't relinquish their hold on your heart. Only by the flood of many scalding and anguished tears are those heartstrings weakened.
Eventually, I went many days, then months, then years without him coming to mind. After careful practice of pushing him aside, out of memory, I realized he had ceased to exist in my world.
Until now.
I don't know if it is just the familial atmosphere of Christmastime or just fond memories come to haunt the holidays, but for some reason, I have been contemplating contacting him.
I tried looking him up in the Yellow Pages. No listing. I even tried a person search. I found out that he was still living in the same city as before.
Here is where the complications arise. I am in the Yellow Pages too. He could find me if he really wanted to. He could call me. So why doesn't he?
All growing up I had to be the adult between us. I am tired of being the adult in my relationship with my father. I want to be the little girl who crawls up into his lap for a welcoming hug.
How I yearn for that hug.
And so I go back and forth between desperately longing to have him be part of my life, and stubbornly trying to close the door on that part of my life.
I am scared to open the door. Who is on the other side?
And of course, because I am a Christian, the issue of forgiveness arises.
Can you forgive someone and still not have them be a part of your life? Can you bring closure to the situation without talking to them?
Have I forgiven him already, but because I don't feel it, do I just continue to torture myself?
I don't hate him. I feel really nothing for him at all. Numbness born of many disappointments.
And how do I reintroduce him to my kids if I decide to let him be a part of our lives again? My oldest still remembers him at times. Oh, I have prayed that he would forget the man that didn't wish to be father or grandfather. But children love so easily and wholeheartedly. Which is why they have parents to protect them.
I am so conflicted!
I know who my father was. But what if he has changed? Does he get a second chance?
What if he hasn't changed? Can I deal with that all over again?
If it only affected me, I might have contacted him sooner. But because it includes my husband and children, I am reluctant to reconcile.
You may think that I bear bitterness and hatred toward him. I don't. There is much sadness wrapped up in my relationship with my father, but no bitterness. He was bitter, but I refused to allow that to contaminate my life. He pushed me away, not the other way around.
Please don't judge my actions. Only God can do that with accuracy.
So I go back and forth, on a teeter-totter of indecision.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas!
Just for the record, can I say that Christmas is my all-time, hands-down, no-holds-barred, absolutely FAVORITE season of the whole year?
The whole world just seems to light up a little bit more...
And so does my house!
The "Joy" and "Peace" ornaments I got at Dollar Tree...this year Dollar Tree has AMAZING Christmas stuff! I went slightly berserk...
We get our tree this weekend...yay!
What is Christmas looking like at your house?
The War of Words....
Mr. Q and I played our very first game of Scrabble together.
Honestly, I didn't think he would be interested in playing at all. You see, I thought Scrabble was for people who like to read and who enjoy vocabulary words...my husband didn't really fit into that stereotype.
But he surprised me with words like "redness" (he whooped me with that one...THIRTY-FOUR points on a single word!!!).
I am so proud of him.
Although, I do recall having a twenty-six point word...something like "xenon"....
The war ended peaceably. One side did triumph over the other, but we really both won in the long run :)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
One Of These Is Not Like The Other....
Other than the adorable cutie I am posing with, what is the difference?
Before:
After:
(Okay, I have no idea what is up with the smirky grin on my face...you get a little silly when you attempt to take pictures of yourself, by yourself!)
I got new glasses! And I only paid $138.69 for them at Costco! What a bargain! Plus, they still have their polish dog meal deals for $1.50...just like I remember :)
Before:
After:
(Okay, I have no idea what is up with the smirky grin on my face...you get a little silly when you attempt to take pictures of yourself, by yourself!)
I got new glasses! And I only paid $138.69 for them at Costco! What a bargain! Plus, they still have their polish dog meal deals for $1.50...just like I remember :)
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