Proud Grandma, proud Auntie (that's me!) and precious little guy

The proud parents, my sister and brother-in-law

Proud Grandpa

Precious little bundle of joy

Welcome Little One!

My cutie pie nephew born over New Years weekend! Can't wait to meet him in person!

We were in the park at our local library and this kind gentleman offered to take a family photo. It was hard to get everyone to smile at once and we look like we fell out of the tree! :)

The Other Side of Staying At Home

This post was originally posted on April 20,2009. But I figured it was time to revisit why I do what I do. And while I don't make my own laundry soap anymore (careful couponing enables me to get it cheaper than I can make it), I remain steadfastly devoted to the ideals put forth in this post. (I have no idea how to make this underlining disappear!)

Recently I read two blog posts that were inspired by a show done on Oprah. Apparently this show decided to show the real life of a SAHM.

What was really sad is that both of the bloggers focused on the negative side.

Admittedly, yes, there are those days or even weeks when you feel like if you have to pick up one more cheerio or say "Go clean your room" one more time, you...will...lose...your...mind. Oh, I'm not denying the days when it feels like the children are going to pull you apart with the "mommy, mommy, mommy"s.

But what about the benefits of staying at home? Are there none? Do we do this to torture ourselves with unending housework and obnoxious, ungrateful children? Do we "chain" ourselves to our homes because we prefer martyrdom?

NO!

Then why do I stay at home?

When I was working part-time and my husband worked full-time, we were on such a tight schedule (He worked from 7:30am until 4pm and then we would meet at my workplace at 4:30pm, switch cars, talk for 15 minutes and then I would head into my building to work from 5pm-11pm, arriving at home at 11:30pm where he would often be asleep because he had to get up at 6am.) to avoid putting our children in daycare, that we saw very little of each other. Our marriage felt non-existent and we truly felt like roommates rather than lifemates. My primary reason for staying at home was to reconnect with my husband. I love being home when he comes home, greeting him with a kiss and a cup of coffee. I love creating a peaceful, welcoming atmosphere here that causes him to shed any worries or concerns at the door. It makes me so thankful when the kids come running and screaming "Daddy's home!" as they hear the key turn in the lock at 4:30pm. And I know he loves it too.

Another obvious reason is, of course, seeing our children. When I was working, I didn't have much energy for interacting, creating or patience. I feel like those years, my boys got the leftovers of mommy. Whereas now, I can take the time to admire a picture drawn or a job well done. I have the luxury of being present, fully present, to watch tender affections between my sons and daughter. I get to experience the joy of watching them grow in their relationship and knowledge of God. I finally get to be a full-time mom.

Being a SAHM saves my family money. This was not a by-product of stepping out of the rat race that I had ever considered before. I knew quitting my job would cost us income, but I never dreamed that being a home manager meant that I would be able to cut costs so effectively that I, in essence, create income. I treat it like a job, devoting whatever hours and energy are necessary to reach the end goal---having money leftover between paychecks. It has become a personal hobby...one that saves me money rather than causing me to spend money. I don't scrapbook..I coupon!

Creating order in my home is something I am still working on. For some reason I didn't magically get the Suzie Q Homemaker gene when I joined the association. Sigh. My goal is to get to the point where my husband doesn't have to ask if he has clean socks and I don't have to go pull a pair out of the dryer... I am striving toward creating more healthy and frugal meals that everyone loves. Split pea soup is something only I like, so scratch that off the meal list! Learning new ways to be frugal is now a fun way to pass the time. I have exchanged my fabric softener for vinegar, my dishwashing detergent for washing soda, my disinfectant for rubbing alcohol and my house has never sparkled more! Before I started on this journey to frugality, I didn't know you could make your own laundry soap or cleaners! It never occured to me that years ago people did that sort of thing. Being able to stay at home has made me a more creative person.

And, lastly, and most selfishly, I stay at home for me. I was never cut out for the cutthroat environment of the corporate world. I prefer a place where my only competition is the dryer and that pile of dirty clothes. I may not get a paycheck or health benefits, but how can I place a dollar value on my family's appreciation of me or number the advantages to my family and me to have someone keeping the home full time? The answer, in short, there is no monetary value that I can place on my family's peace.

My marriage has improved. My kids are better behaved. My home runs smoother. I am having more fun being a home manager than I EVER did as an administrative assistant!

Yes, being a SAHM does come with its daily challenges. But let's not lose sight of why we do it. We create our family and the environment in which that family will wither or thrive. We are keepers of the home....guardians.

Why do you do it?

Sobering

As I stepped out of the car into the chilly autumn night air, I pulled my sweater a little closer and hurried into the store. I had a mission to complete---get my grocery shopping done and go home to my bed!

I maneuvered my cart through the aisles, collecting my items and checking them off my list. Soon I was finished and I flipped through the coupons I would be using for this trip. After organizing my stash, I pushed the cart to the register and began unloading the products onto the conveyor belt. My cashier was cheerful and efficient and very quickly I was ready to be on my way.

I hardly noticed the gentleman behind me in line, I was too focused on my own agenda. But as I fished around for my keys in my purse I heard the cashier say, "Evening Richard what can I do for you?" Naturally I looked up to see who the cashier knew by name. My gaze met a man of about forty-something years housed in a body that had carried too much worry and pain. His coat looked ragged and much too thin for the coming colder weather that winter would be bringing. Richard's face was haggard and worn and bore no smile. He fumbled around in his pockets for something as he said "I'll just take a water tonight. I believe that's 25-cents." He continued to search for the quarter he needed. The cashier waved him through and said "Richard, tonight the water's on us." It was then I realized the cashier knew him because he frequented this store at night. He had no where else to go to escape the frigid night air. Richard was homeless.

He thanked the kind cashier and went over to the drink fountain to get a small glass of water. And I pushed my cartload of groceries out the door. I passed another man who looked very much like Richard in demeanor and dress. Perhaps, like Richard, he was escaping the dropping temperatures too.

And as I stepped into the cold night air I was sobered by what I had just witnessed.

How many times do I take a glass of water for granted? Or the fact that I have a bed to sleep in at night under a warm roof?

And the Holy Spirit started to deal with me regarding my spirit of ingratitude and entitlement.

Just this morning I was complaining about my bed not being comfortable. I imagine that a bed of concrete would be a lot more uncomfortable than a saggy mattress. So I decided that I would be grateful for a saggy mattress. I would praise God every time I had to pay a bill. Thank You Lord that I have a water bill to pay because that means that I can do laundry, take a shower and pour myself a glass of water from the faucet. Thank You that I get to pay my mortgage because that means I have a home to live in. I am grateful for my electricity bill and my phone bill.

I am abundantly blessed and it wasn't until tonight that I truly realized the extent of that blessing.

Showing Off

Today I feel like a celebrity...I am being featured on the DIY Show Off! If you haven't checked out that blog already, go do it! Roeshel has taken some very talented DIYers and given them a place to SHOW OFF! :) The creativity practically drips off the computer screen. Just beware, you could get sucked in for hours looking at all the projects she has compiled! :)

Fill Up Someone's Cup!